Self-reflection & loss of confidence, or how to look through the glass mirror

The subject of self-esteem is one that many young people seem to be struggling with these days. We've all had to deal with painful statements, nasty criticisms or inappropriate remarks. Here are a couple of thoughts on the matter, I've gathered over the years.

Like many, lots of negative situations have affected me on a mental level in the past. The first victims? My self-confidence and assurance. Dwelling on the situation over and over again, second-guessing myself, questioning people around me... to this day, I still haven't found the appropriate remedy to comfortably avoid such a negative impact. But I want to share in this article the little things I was able to figure out when encountering such circumstances.

Having the courage to assert yourself...

All of us have been through difficult situations, which caused us to question ourselves. Whether it happened in a professional, familial or even social context, such circumstances are not pleasant to deal with. I often wondered about what was happening deep inside of me when this occurred. Why and how did I get to this point? What really hurt me? What could I have done differently?

The list of questions goes on and on, and I rarely find the related answers. It's hard to find them. No matter how hard I try, sometimes they just won't come. Then time passes, water flows under the bridge, and even without these answers, I manage to move on. I manage to overlook the countless question marks and instead concentrate my attention on the bright side of things.

If it happened, then it happened for a reason. Sometimes it's just a slightly inappropriate remark from another student in class...sometimes it's a real argument with someone close to us. In both cases, the outcome is the same: Time heals the wounds.

It's a claim I never really liked to hear, and I might still find it hard to accept sometimes, even to this day. However, there is a lot of truth in that simple word, time. It does indeed facilitate the healing process.

With time, confidence returns.

Self-perception plays an important role in the loss of confidence. It is extremely difficult to assert yourself when you believe that a simple remark has destroyed you, both mentally and physically. It's as simple as that, as quick as that.

And it's a vicious circle; you are affected by a negative situation, you feel bad, and then the fact that you are affected by it, disappoints you. And self-disappointment destroys your self-confidence. That's how I've always seen it.

A silly vicious circle that I couldn't get out of.

Time, it also helps to get out of this mad dance and to reconcile with oneself and the decisions made in the past. It’s about courage, it’s about will-power, for sure. But it’s also about time, which is the last factor, that will glue everything back together.

Breaking through the glass

I’ve been jobless for a few months now. My situation has seen three seasons in total. Autumn, winter, spring have all gone by. I’ve heard all sorts of things.

Not enough experience. Not enough curiosity.

It’s hard to keep your confidence afloat in those times. It’s painful and affects much more than just yourself. That's when the vicious circle settles in. Facing strangers who will judge your skills and experiences is much harder than one may think.

But through all these difficult stages, I try to concentrate mainly on the path I've taken so far, the trials that have passed and the challenging obstacles that still lie ahead. This is somehow uplifting and helps to take my mind off any negative options. Like the Komorebi mentioned in my French articles, I am looking for an ounce of bliss, a thin branch of colour to attach myself to so as not to be affected by the torments of the present.